Plastiquillos de tranchete: Locutor mexicano: "Con nostros Splinter, delegado de Efe en Lima"

sábado, 24 de noviembre de 2007

Locutor mexicano: "Con nostros Splinter, delegado de Efe en Lima"

Cuando comenzó el terremoto, decidí tirar de la cadena.

Aunque en realidad no fue tan rápido. Primero esperé un poco, así como quien dice a medio mojón, a ver si la cosa no se movía demasiado. Un temblorcito sin más, pensé.

Pasaron 10 segundos, y el traqueteo no se calmaba, sino todo lo contrario, así que tomé la decisión de terminar la operación más tarde.
Salí y me encontré a Redactora A bajo una columna. La buena estaba esperándome. Raudos nos dirigimos a la casa de Jefa (en el mismo edificio que la redacción, lo que se llama una casa cuartel vamos), pero allí no encontramos a nadie. Bajamos más escaleras, momento en el que agradecí mi gran práctica en el descenso de escaleras bajo efectos del alcohol. En la calle encontramos a Jefa, junto a Jefe y sus dos retoños, los pobres sin zapatos y bastante acojonados. Nos paramos en mitad de la calle, desde donde observamos la vibración de los cristales de los edificios (este es el clásico momento en que te quedas mirando en vez de alejarte, que es lo que deberías). Finalmente, la tierra se calmó.

Bueno, a ver cómo está el asunto, dijimos con nuestro siempre bien ponderado léxico.

Frente al ordenador, me doy cuenta de que, en mi huída, olvidé la cámara de video de la redacción. Buen periodista estoy hecho. Los teléfonos no funcionan, pero la radio comienza a dar algunos datos. 7.5 grados. No está mal. Creo que esta noche voy a aprender definitivamente a escribir Ritcheer, digo Richter.... ¿Mercalli? ¿Quién es ese?

Los minutos van pasando, ya estamos mandando texto. La bola va aumentando de tamaño. Esto no es un temblor. La Jefa se atreve a utilizar la palabra: Terremoto. Bien, ya tenemos guía en la que no tenemos que dudar si escribir sismo o seismo.

De pronto, me veo hablando con una radio mexicana, quieren que entre en directo. No hay tiempo, me dicen en la redacción. Soy incapaz de decir que no (me cago en mis incapacidades) Entro en directo. No doy una. El locutor me despide: "hasta los periodistas aún están nerviosos en Lima". Pero no por el terremoto, la verdad.

Llegan las diez, mi hora de marchar. Pero esta noche no. La primera nota que escribo sobre el terremoto: "Se suspende el partido entre Universitario y Alianza Lima", así, algo de peso joder, si es que estoy hecho un máquina.

Entro en directo en Radio Caracol, Colombia. Vuelvo a entrar en la emisora mexicana. Esta vez me presentan: "La Rata Splinter, delegado de la Agencia Efe en Lima". De puta madre. Me preguntan sobre cosas que no tengo ni idea. Me invento las respuestas.

Llegan las 12. Redactora A se marcha. Me quedo sólo con Jefa. Así, con dos huevos. La jefa y el becario. Título de video porno para largometraje de periodistas con influencia del astracán menos ingenioso.

A las 2 entro en directo para el informativo de Efe (son las 9 de la mañana al otro lado del charco). Cuando me presentan tardo en entrar 3, 4 segundos. Para mí media hora, pero es que no me sale nada. Comienzo y me repongo. Suelto lo que tengo preparado. Termino, voy bien. Pero entonces se le ocurre al conductor preguntarme por algo de lo que no tengo la menor idea. Comienzo a desbarrar, me tiro a la piscina con la estratagema más baja de mi vida. ¿Conocéis las películas en las que por teléfono uno comienza a fingir que se corta la comunicación?

Pues no hice eso. Peor. Comienzo a inventar palabras. "Sí, según lo dicho por García, la situación eléctrica está estraficada, y equipocamente astrávica". Me callo. El locutor también.

Acto seguido me despide. Un abrazo, dice. Quiero retorcerte el cuello, entiendo. Bien, vamos bien.

La noche continúa. Jefa escribe, yo contesto cuatro teléfonos a la vez mientras llamo por otros dos para conseguir datos. Las cifras suben. Ya se calculan 200 muertos. Pisco es el centro del desastre. Llevo 15 horas trabajando, pero la noche se me ha pasado pitando. La situación se presenta ahora más estable. Nos felicitan desde Madrid.

A las 5 llegan Redactor C y Redactora B. Me dicen que puedo marcharme, que me vaya a casa a dormir. Yo digo bien, gracias.

Salgo a la calle, son las seis de la mañana, Lima está desierta, y sucede una cosa, que en la oficina desconocen, y es que yo aún no tengo casa donde dormir.

Camino, hacia ningún lugar. Calculo posibilidades. Veo un autobús, lo tomo, por inercia. Me bajo en una gasolinera y desayuno. No me puedo sentar, una pareja ocupa la única mesa del local. Por el televisor siguen desgranando datos del terremoto. Sonrío, hace una hora que no varían las cifrás. Ya ha pasado lo más gordo.

A las 7:30 me voy a casa de Arnaldi. Su madre ya está despierta y me abre. No puedo dormir, no hay modo. Hablo con la madre de Arnaldi. Le cuento cómo ha ido la noche. Cuando se va me quedo solo. Me tiro en un sofá. Ronco. Me despierto con un apretón. Voy al baño y termino la faena. Vuelvo a Roncar, me ha dicho Jefa que vuelva a la oficina como a la una de la tarde...

Aún no sé que mañana me voy para Pisco.

34 comentarios:

leonardo dijo...

llega con retraso, pero llega...

por aqui tb ha habido algún que otro terremoto últimamente... te cuento en cuanto hablemos.

besos

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Y espero que continúe pronto.

¿Terremoto? Caracho, caracho, estoy intrigado.

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Haber si encuentro un hueco para escribir lo acontecido en calle minas el pasado sábado 24
Un título:
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Un abrazo P
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